Just Keep Swimming

swimming swimming. Just...keep swimming.

So I've finally done it. I've been meaning to create this blog for the past couple of weeks or so. Picking a name for it turned out to be the hardest part. I wanted something that wasn't too much of a downer, something that conveyed that although I'm struggling, I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook on things. I kept hearing Dory from Finding Nemo in my head singing "just keep swimming", and it felt appropriate.

Today's struggle: motivation

It's been hectic this week at work, and I'm finding myself just sitting here this afternoon with a brain made of mush. I can't seem to focus on any of my work today. Everytime I try to begin anything, I'm interrupted. I end up counting the minutes until I can go home. And if that isn't enough.....

...tonight is going to be my second attempt to begin my second week of the workout program I bought into.

A little back story: I did a bad thing. I watched regular TV in the morning. Anyone who's had a day off during the week with nothing to do and has flipped on the TV knows that there's nothing on regular TV in the mornings except for INFOMERCIALS! So yes, I got suckered in. I watched an infomercial for The Firm - Total Body TransFIRMation. It's a cardio-with-weights workout routine. When it arrived, I was completely stoked. I read all of the information that came with it and promptly began my first workout that evening (that was two weeks ago today). Ryan - my boyfriend, my best friend, my support, and my life - happily agreed to do the workouts with me to help keep me motivated. The workouts are tough, but fun, and I feel great afterwards. I had made it through most of the first week successfully when, halfway through one of the workouts, my knee popped. It was painful, and I haven't fully recovered. That was a week and half ago. I decided to take it easy all this past week even though I could feel my motivation waning. I was depressed that I hadn't lasted a week before having to stop, whether it was my fault or not. To keep from spiraling down into something more than just a funk, I decided to postpone week two until tonight.

So, that brings us back to tonight, and to today's struggle: motivation. I'm happy that today's Friday, that I get to go home and relax, and the last thing I want to do is that damn workout. With any luck Ryan will feel differently about it and will get me pumped up to do it.

Most of the "demons" that I've referred to in the "about me" section of this blog stem from being overweight and having such low self-esteem. I want to succeed. I want to lose the weight and get my life back. One would think that's motivation enough. We'll see, I suppose.